Just when I thought Scott couldn’t hate weddings more, I got ordained to officiate your weddings, bar mitzvahs, car dealer openings, and your livestock judging events. I can christen your babies, ships, and new toilets. As this is the Universal Church, Instead of lighting a unity candle as at Catholic weddings or stepping on the wine glass as in the Jewish faith, I will institute that brides will sing “I’m a little teapot”, while their groom’s will try to chuck the ring bearer pillow and all through a cornhole board opening. Looking forward to the clergy parking, as always having to be employee of the week is exhausting me.
Rubber Chicken 