Author: kbtwomey

Elsie the Cow has dating down during COVID and Black Lives Matter. She’s a single White American and makes sure she’s individually wrapped. Single and not ready to mingle unless on top of a cheeseburger.

I need to get something off my Double D chest. Unlike my husband and others on Facebook, I’m never a ranter or political in any way. I never get into social media fights with others keenly understanding that social media posts are as grounded in concrete as fence posts and do nothing to ever bring others with dissenting opinions to the the post spewer’s point of view. In the current climate, I believe Black Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, and your life and others matter to you if you will wear a mask. However, I need to stop the next bias movement flooding America. The movement, of which I speak and which Wikipedia lists as a term, is the anti-Karen movement. In the midst of racism, Karens have emerged as dyed blonde, bob hair styled, racist, white privileged, mini van driving, soccer moms, spouting entitled complaints and asking to see the manager. I AM NONE OF THOSE THINGS! My blonde is real and while I may have some history of asking to speak to the manager, my complaints were valid-Damn it!

Ok, I realize I didn’t speak up when Karen first was maligned as last year’s K name for hurricanes, but I never have even been a category 1 entitled bitch. When I ask to speak to a manager, it’s been for things like $200 airline change fees to be waived in an emergency, as I’m not a sheep enough to believe that there’s real costs to an airline if a customer service agent has to click a computer a few times to change my ticket. Sure, I want to speak to a manager hoping that a human might be decent in an emergency. As if any Tom, Dick, or Rashawn hasn’t pulled out their hair in dealing with customer service reps who allow themselves to be the faceless tools of corporate America’s inflexible and profit dollar driving inane policies geared to keep the little man, woman, and even the Karens down. When did the pursuit of excellence in customer service become a surrogate for racist tirades defaming women who have a popular name from the late 50s/early 60s? Calling a woman who calls the police on a black guy standing 50 yards in her vicinity a “Karen” instead of a racist, intolerant, small-minded, bigoted, C U next Tuesday is a miss. Honestly, how could a so-called Karen not see color, if her black roots need to be touched up from her blonde bob? To add to it, in memes with pet influencers like Grumpy Cat, Esther the Wonder Pig, and that sarcastic husky, they are always rolling their eyes at Karens and say “Just shut up Karen, i know there’s a pill wrapped in that piece of baloney”. This viral stereotyping makes me want to complain to their human supervisors!!

I’m asking for Karens to rise up against the intolerance being bestowed upon us, as they besmirch our good name! Already not a single millennial will ever name a daughter Karen, as the name’s resurgence will not go the way of a cool old name like Sadie or Dahlia, but has been relegated into extinction fossilized forever with Gladys or Ethel due to social media co-opting my good name in this way. If we don’t fight back now against the tyranny of the oppressors against us, they’ll soon come for you too Susan and Linda. Perhaps we can get the millennials to change the term “Karen” to Gertrude, because, let’s face it, most of them are dead by now and the dead don’t ask to speak to a manager. If the millennials don’t make this change, I want to speak to their manager!!!! I ask all Karens, Susans, Kathies and Lindas to 1) stop calling the police on perfectly lovely non-threatening black people 2) ask to speak to the manager only with legitimate complaints, once you’ve allowed the server/customer service rep adequate time to handle your situation 3) fight this with me by sharing & tagging all your friends named Karen, Kathy, Linda, and Susan in taking back our good name! Get out of your She-shed and put down your Pinterest and fight!! #KarenLivesMatter

Meanwhile in Jamaica, an advertising pitchman is being fired….