Traveling with countless microscopic hitchhikers.
Well, like many, I’m officially home working remotely for the unforeseeable future. While most events have been cancelled, March Madness is in full swing, but has been moved to Costco. While early brackets saw extra points earned with scoring a rotisserie chicken, the top seeds were seen in the parking lot sitting on a pallet of water selling discounted cruise tickets. In the last 48 hours of the “social distancing”, I’ve noticed it only applies to mainstream groceries distancing themselves from my empty shopping cart, as I refuse to buy from the Island of Misfit Foods. Prior to Corona, these are the items in which there’s never a sampling line at Costco, as in the Kombucha French Fries and the Lentil Pudding Pops wouldn’t cut it in the days of norm. In a couple of weeks, there will be a black market for these items along with today’s featured sale on Serrano Ham (with stand!) for $99.95. Tonight, we are eating Soylent Green. Spoiler Alert! The secret ingredient isn’t cauliflower this go round. My only hope is that the different flavors of abundantly available Girl Scout Cookies may be reclassified as different food groups. If you have enough boxes, you can make your own food pyramid.
Nothing like stocking up on essentials for forced isolation in a crowded supermarket with the guy behind you in line hocking a crown of Corona loogies on your head. If only we could all just take the order separators on the check-out conveyor belt and place them between ourselves and these phlegmatic strangers. I thought my being puerile might save me, but it turns out I need to be Purell. I’m pretty sure with humanity, if this continues it will be like A Breaking Bad Prequel, Better Call Lysol!
Rubber Chicken 