Traveling with Mr. Golden Underwear.
Today was all about Art-Shout out my Waldwick Art Teachers, Mrs. Michelson, Karen LeGere, and Mr. Zacco. After my own art dreams were dashed when I could only make art of the one subject I could draw, my Dachshund, Zeesa. I carved my muse in linoleum block, in copper, made her from pasta, drawn in craypas, and formed in clay, I became more of an art appreciator than an artist. Today, I saw many of the masterpieces from the game, Masterpiece. Although my college transcript reports that I got an A in Art History, I believe that I got the grade of the other Karen Kaplan at my school, as I never saw art in my 4 years at Binghamton unless you count some of my guy friends peeing their names in the snow. Anyway, today we went to the Picasso Museum. All morning, I felt like my nose was on my cheek, then I felt blue, before feeling like I just needed to think a bit more out of the box or cube. After that, Scott and I split up. No, we didn’t take on French lovers. He went to the Musee of des Armes (the Art of War?) and I went to the Musee d’ Orsay, which houses many of the masters with a focus on Impressionism. Waiting on line behind an obnoxious American women and her entitled daughters for 1/2 hour, I got into Impressionism, as they impressed me as all that’s wrong with America. If only they were more like a needle in a Monet haystack. As they say art is timeless, which I think is due to all the nudity. Sure, it’s rare to find someone in repose these days wearing a fig leaf, but had Renoir or Degas painted people wearing hoodies and falling down the asscrack jeans, they’d look back and be glad that they opted for well placed scarfs. Kim Kardashian (who never created anything) might be so angry that Vinny Van Gogh got more likes on this selfie that she might’ve cut her ass cheek off to keep up with him in the media. I also saw my 4th Statue of Liberty today (in the museum, in the Seine, in Nice, & the big green lady in NYC). Can you say knockoff? We ended the day in Montemarte, an artistic community, from back in the day that these museum guys were just making their 1st impressions. Then, off to Moulin Rouge, where we sang the ShopRite Can-Can sale song before making impressions in our pillows.
Rubber Chicken 